Welcome to my space

Lawrence's profileWelcome to my spacePhotosBlogListsMore

Tools

Help

Blog

December 01

The ugly turth; the turth IS ugly, much more than we thought...

打開發表新日誌才發現已經好久沒有寫過東西了，可憐的人，被一堆工作，project計劃埋葬了的 Lawrence...

今晚一直跟自己說看完電影就回家做完明天的文件，馬上睡覺，因為明早8點的會議~ fuk that..

The Ugly Truth... 評價就免了，大家自己看看自己評價吧，如果一定要說，我會說... 被觸動了一下下吧... 為什麼？因為我目前是個孤獨，寂寞，感情失敗的 loser 咯~ how simple is that?

我最欣賞的，最真實的，最ugly的，莫過於電影裏說的那張check list 了...

why the hell every body start to having this fucking checking list before they got into a relationship nowdays? when the hell did I start having this damn checking list too?

這張混蛋list，每個人心裏都有一張...

男人： how tall is she？how big is her boobs？sexy leg & ass？ good looking？financial conditions？etc etc...

女人：長得高不高？強不強壯？有沒有學歷？有沒有前途？有沒有錢途？等等等等~

well... I just feel I want to say ... what the fuck?~!

很多人問過我同一個問題，in different forms: 你喜歡什麼樣的女孩子？什麼樣條件的？

我的答案是：感覺對了就好了 (what a liar)

其實心裏面真正喜歡的：高度不矮於168cm，胸部不小於B+，學歷不重要，脾氣不能大....

（我很懷疑，這些東西有意義麼？我很迷惑）

after all... I'm just the same asshole as those I laugh at the most, how funny is that?

不知道什麼時候開始，已經忘記了曾經心裏最在乎的事：她是不是真實的？am I love her? unconditional~!? 真實和喜歡，才是the most improtant part 吧？

November 27

It is New Moon

愛一个人，是一种感觉; 是一生的付出，不愛一个人，却只是铁一般的事实。

我们每一个人都是有条件地被爱着，也是有条件的爱着别人。尝不到爱又何必觉得心灰意冷？既然知道世上没有无条件的爱，我们就应该加倍努力使自己具备条件去爱，同时也应该学习忘记一些条件才去爱一个人。

有些事情是不可以勉强的，很多时候你爱一个人，她却不爱你，这并不代表你不够可爱，也不代表你不够好，这只能代表她不爱你而已。

有些时候我们真的原意原谅一个人，也并不是我们真的原意原谅她，归根到底都是因为我们不想失去她，要是不能失去，那就只能原谅了。然而，一段感情可以由爱重新开始，却不能由原谅重新开始。

有时我们爱一个人和不爱一个人，往往都是因为同一些理由。时间治愈伤痛，也加深了伤痛；它有时候太长，有时候又太仓促了。

New Moon 所給我的最清晰而強烈的感覺是Bella在Edward 離開後那種清醒時無比的平靜，卻在睡夢中撕心裂肺的思念~！就像Bleech裏面的虛一樣，心中有一個黑洞，把整個人的靈魂都帶走了。 Twilight 所吸引人的地方不在於那多麼曲折離奇的劇情或者華麗的場景，正好相反的，在這些方面這部電影都平淡得很；但是當中所描繪的愛情卻很.... 突然間，我也找不到詞來形容了。

" I am sorry, please don't make me chose, It's him, It's always been him, I'm sorry~!"

可能我們大多數人看到的是一個無比自私的Bella，利用了Jacob當作Edward離開後的救生圈... 而我卻看到了一種無論任何東西，食物，人，都無法替代的愛情；財富，生命，時間，家人，朋友，there is nothing can stand between those two people's love.... how strong, how scary ...

我們都非常羨慕和憧憬能擁有一個人這樣的愛，但是，我們卻忽略了一點，這麼極致的愛，我們能承受住嗎？我們敢去接受嗎？

個人覺得Bella演繹得很傳神了，可是我心裏還是有一種很急切的渴望，想去從文字間了解更多。以前從未覺得這麼想讀一本小說，我讀過數不清的案例，全部都是人性最卑劣，最殘酷的一面，學習這些案例是為了我的夢想和那個學位，但是附帶的無形中我從那些黑暗的人性裏體會到了那一個字的意義，看了Twilight 那兩人的愛，難道你們不覺得如果能擁有一段那樣的愛情，真的其他的一切都無意義了？很嚇人吧？我也覺得是...

“so much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family, that it remains the measure of our stability, because it measures our sense of loyalty"

----Poet Haniel Long

November 20

Ninja Assassin [2009]

一定要看

YouTube - Ninja Assassin [2009]

November 04

"灰色的記憶"

突然間我好像大概知道了為什麼吸血鬼的故事總是牽絆著無盡的愛情在裏面…

Immortality....equal to Loneliness and that is why 'they' always want to find the 'one'... and they willing to sacrifice anything for it...

Because... there is nothing else worth enough to fight for and nothing scared more than the endless 'Solitudo'....

強如神話中的他們，也害怕孤獨...更何況是平凡的我們？如果我是Edward,我一定把Bella變成吸血鬼...可能，我是個膽小鬼，我害怕無盡孤獨的黑夜...

I had a plan, I want to change who I was, create a life as someone new, someone without the past, without the pain, someone alive....but it's not that easy, the bad things stay with you, they follow you, and you can't escape them, as much as you want to....

All you need to do is be ready for the good, so when it comes, you invite it in, because you need it...

I ... need it~!

October 21

1 for 1

Hey, thank you all so much, guys… Friday night was great. And I’m sorry too; I knew you guys have been worried about me these days… well… ok, not just days, but months…

真的很謝謝你們，拉我出去玩，給我介紹女孩子認識… 但是，我真的不想要那些在酒精作用下的曖昧，暗示和沉醉。我想要的，是在清醒的狀態下，簡單而清楚的說出的“我愛你”；我要的，是大聲地跟彼此的朋友們介紹：“這是我女朋友/this is my boyfriend… 我想要的，是一起拖著手逛街；突如其來在路中間擁吻一下；禮拜天一起賴床，在床上吃早餐或者賴到中午去喝茶或者吃brunch；晴朗的下午一起帶阿斯蘭去海邊，陰雨時擁在一起看碟…

I knew you guys been worried, you guys always said: “you need to stop living in the past, let go of those memories… come out with us, get a girl in real life, or maybe even have an affair or one night stand something, that’s how relationship starts now days, because that’s what normal guy do, BE a normal guys, and do the normal thing…”

100%完全明白你們的意思， I really do… But, if that’s what you so call “normal”, I guess I rather to be “special”…A one “special” boy or man for just one special girl or woman, for just one special HER. I knew I always got myself into those “bad girls”, got myself hurt in these relationships….

There is a wise guy once said:“The universe is designed to broke your heart, but it will let your heart expend and grow back even bigger after you go through all those pain, became more stronger and be able to fall in love again.”

Guys, what I’m trying to say is, I will get through all this, one year seems a long time but it’s not, not that you think of, time fly… sometimes you don’t even know how fast it goes.

Thank you guys so much… and I love you guys too… But please don’t try to set me up with your friends anymore… my one will come, ‘she’… will come into my life in the future, I don’t know when, but ‘she’ will come…

我答應你們以後每個週末都跟你出去，喝酒跳舞，一起發瘋…. Please just let me be myself, let me be that stupid but ‘special’ me, let me go through all those pain, coz it thought me how special love is… 你們就發發善心，讓我把這個又蠢又傻但是特別的我，保留給我以後的那個她咯~！